TT 15 - Gordon!

There is something rather terrifying about Glandice Morgan. She is not overweight, exactly, and yet she is somehow in excess. Perhaps it is the mass of flame red curls that fly in a frenzy around her fleshy face. Or perhaps it is just the way her breasts look as though they might break free at any moment. Either way, Cleanth Morgan is not the only man in the village who is quite noticeably reduced in her presence.
"Oh Gordon. Just the man." Glandice calls to her neighbour over the low brick wall that seperates their front gardens.
"Ah, Glandice, G'Morning."
"Jeez, this damn wind. Its blown my trellis right down. Look at that!"
Gordon tuts sympathetically.
"Do you have a hammer? I can't find ours anywhere."
"Oh yuh, sure, absolutely." Gordon pops back inside and soon reappears with a hammer. He doesn't hand it over the wall but goes round into Glandice's garden and starts throwing himself at the errant trellis, trying to push it back into its place beside the Morgan's front door. This proves far harder than he expected. The trellis is being pushed away from the wall by the thick vines of the old rose which are now far stronger than the fragile support beneath.
"Perhaps if you could just hold it in place," he says to Glandice, "I could pop a couple of nails in at the top."
Glandice leans forward and pushes the mesh of pale pink roses back against the wall with one hand. Gordon can smell her under-arm deoderant.

"Gordon!" Val Green has appeared on their doorstep in her dressing gown and slippers. "How long are you going to be?"
Gordon pretends not to hear her.
"Gordon! You need to make that phone call!"
Gordon keeps his eyes on the nail he is about to bang into Glandice's brickwork and says nothing.
"Morning Val." Glandice says.
"Tell Gordon he has to make a phone call." Val replies.
"Val says you need to make a phone call." Glandice repeats, although they all know that Gordon has heard the first time.
"No, I don't." Gordon starts hammering.
"Sorry honey." Glandice calls across to Val. "It's my fault. I'm keeping your husband."
Val folds her arms and says nothing.
"It's not a problem." Gordon says.

"Gordon!" Val comes out into the front garden. "If you don't call now you'll miss him."
Gordon finally turns to look at his wife. "It doesn't matter, Valerie. I'll see him later. It doesn't matter."
"How long are you going to be?"
"I don't know!"
Valerie disappears back inside.
Glandice puts her hand on Gordon's shoulder. "Hey, Gordy, don't worry about this right now. It'll probably blow down again, anyhow."
"No, no!" Gordon insists. "I won't be beaten." And he leans all his weight against the trellis and hammers in the nail as far as it will go.