TT 12 - My Lovely Wife!

Gordon Green hurriedly pulls down his trousers. “I’ve waited so long for this moment!” He says, breathless with passion.
“Oh darling!” Sighs Alison Carduggan with equal enthusiasm. They embrace and he kisses her firmly, but rather stiffly, on the lips.
“Really look like you’re going for it!” Calls Meg Marrow from the back of the Parish Hall, and the cast members of My Lovely Wife! giggle delightedly. Gordon swings Alison over in a hollywood style embrace. Alison ruffles Gordon’s hair frantically. Actually, she finds this part all rather embarassing and never knows quite what to do with her hands. Finally, Meg stamps her foot on the ground to indicate the sound of a door slamming.
Alison breaks off the embrace with relief. “My husband!”
“Good God!”
“Hide!”
“Where?!”
“In the wardrobe, quickly!”
Gordon makes the most of the comic effect of having to waddle frantically to the wardrobe with his trousers still round his ankles. There are appreciative laughs from the rest of the cast . There is no actual wardrobe, so Gordon crouches behind an orange plastic chair. He is able to watch the rest of the scene through the port-hole in its moulded back.

“Who were you talking to?!” Demands Eric Briding, striding onto the stage as Perry, the cuckolded husband. He has the habit of leaning forward stiffly from the waist when he’s acting, and squeezing his fists just in front of his trouser pockets.
“Oh, no-one.” Says Alison, and primps nervously at her hair as she imagines Felicity well might at such a moment.
Eric simply stares in disbelief at the floor. “Bugger it!" "Sorry! Forgotten my bloody line!” Eric looks out to Meg.
“ ‘I’m sure I heard a man’s voice…’” Meg prompts.
“I’m sorry Meg! I knew this off by heart last night! Sorry Alison! Sorry everyone!”
“Don’t worry Eric.”
Eric screws his face up and huffs irritatedly at himself. “’I’m sure I heard a man’s voice…’ - of course. I know that line! Damn it!”
Meg claps her hands together. "OK, why don't we take a break there. It's almost quarter past, anyway."

Alison and Eric find themselves reaching into the biscuit tin at the same time. You first, says Eric.
“Sorry about Basil, the other day." He says, "I hope Suzie’s alright.”
“Oh she’s fine. I’m sure she was instrumental in the whole thing, anyway.”
“It makes you wonder what on earth’s going on inside their heads.” Eric says, snapping off the corner of his biscuit with his front teeth.
“It certainly does.” Alison smiles.
“So. The Tendringhoe Festival - all sounds quite exciting doesn’t it?”
“Oh, yes...Douglas mentioned something about that.” Alison says, vaguely. “I haven’t seen Glandice lately, though, so I haven’t really had a chance to catch up.”
“She hasn’t mentioned anything to Douglas about it then? About whose organising what?”
”Not that I’m aware of.”
“Well, I certainly hope she gives Douglas a key role. I mean the church, it’s the linch-pin of the village, and it's not as though Douglas doesn't have experience with major events…It's not as though any of us don't. No, it would be very short-sighted of her not to include locals - I mean real locals, not just the London part-timers.”
“I’m not really sure what the plan is.” Alison confesses.

Meg claps her hands loudly. “OK, I need felicity and Hugh back on stage, and Perry in the wings." By the time Alison and Eric have climbed up the wooden steps onto the stage Gordon is already getting ready to pull down his burgundy cords.